so explain again why im purple
no
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
