So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
