If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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