Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
