the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
