He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
