just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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