Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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