Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
