guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
