I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
