u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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