i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
