the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
