You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
