Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
