I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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