i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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