We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
