its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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