There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
