i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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