oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
