I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Randomize
