Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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