I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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