Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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