He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
