I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
