I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just google imaged poop.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Who died my cat blue again?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize