i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
