oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
