Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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