Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
