Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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