shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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