Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
