She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
