i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
