he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
