You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
