i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
