Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She needs sedatives and a leash
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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