hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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