Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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