I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
