can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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