she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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