I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
