Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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