Are you still at the party or did I leave?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
