Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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